Sons 1st therapy apt

Tuesday was my sons 1st therapy apt. On the first visit they get background, of the patient and family, asky why your there, blah blah blah. I know they have to get all that info, but I cant wait to get to the root of his problems. Luckily my son liked the man and talked openly to him, but of course with him its like pulling teeth on anything he has to tell you and you find out the full story over time. I heard the words that I dreaded, my child may have bi-polar illness. He is expressing parania, feelings like someone is watching him, and going to jump out and get him, and seeing ghost. The therapist said that he didnt know about if he believed in ghost or not but it could be a sign of hallucinating, he also told us that these are also signs of severe depression. Only time will tell, which were words I was happy to hear, he didn't try to slap a label on him right away.
As far as the ghost, well unfortunately we do have weird things happen in our home, and I've tried to disprove ghost, and well there are some things I cant explain. But I dont know if we have a ghost or not, I'm leaning toward the fact that he is seeing something that is not there.

We had a couple of good days, his mood lifted and we were able to convince him to make an overnight visit with his dad.......DISASTER. It was too soon. I dont know what is going on over there, but my child doesnt want to be with his father at all, and he called me 5 times crying and begging so desperatly to come home. If he didnt live an hour away it would be easier. And his father is stuck on the notion that my son is just wanting attention and manipulating us. Funny, he only does this going there to his house. Well its the last time I make or agree for him to go. I know he doesnt physically abuse him, but WHAT IS GOING ON that his own child wants nothing to do with him??????? I'm desperate to get to the bottom of this.

As far as my own health while dealing with my childs problems, wow, I'm overwhelmed. I have an apt the 17th with my own phsyciatrist to get my meds looked at and possibly adjusted. I've done well keeping depression at bay, but its knocking on my door and it scares me that I cant keep it at arms legnth by myself for much longer. Ive been emotionally drained and physically worn out. But I've been sucessfull so far so I have to pat myself on the back. I never want to go back to where I've been in the past with my depression. I'm thankful I can recognize the signs that its creeping back as well. Stress is a huge trigger and I'm overloaded with stress. So the best thing is to see your doctor when you have periods of stress that arent going to go away and let them know so they can be on guard. Adjustments to medication may be needed, at having your doctor keep a close eye on you is necessary.

My child will too probably be on meds before long, and I hate that, but I'm not going to ignore the fact that some people just need a little help to balance out the brain. Mental and mood disorders are believed to be inherited, so I'm not risking him growing up like I did. My mother totaly ignored my depression and told me I was spoiled, wanted attention, blah blah blah. (she is telling me this about my child too) but that wasnt the case, I was depressed and didnt know why and had no reason...oh wait! Yes I did, I had a chemical imbalance going on. She was so afraid of the stigma back then and how it would make HER look, so I never got help until I was in my late 20's. Then I did it on my own.

Part of my childs problem with his father is the same I had for my mother, misunderstanding, ignorance of mental and mood disorders, and the lack of desire to learn and help your child. You cant just tell your kid to get over it, or think about what YOU want first. It is essential that you research your childs diagnosis, and learn all that you can. Trial and error, there is no easy fix. There are things NOT to say, "I know how you feel" are good intentions, but you DONT know how they feel and it can shut a depressed person down so quickly. I know sounds silly but its true the wrong words or tone of voice can make you instantly feel like you arent understood, or cared about, and if you feel that you cannot fully trust someone then you just wont talk or want to be around them.

Some want a fix right away, those who want to understand this illness will learn there is no easy fix and its a long uphill battle, that a family must fight together and be on the same path. If your not, you'll be alienating yourself from your loved one with the illness, and you may never be able to repair your relationship. A child needs to know security, comfort, and trust in a parent, and if they have never felt that growing up, they may NEVER feel it from you as they grow and become and adult. Dont wait until your child is grown to ask what can I do to make this better. Ask today.