Back from Vacation

I've been away for two weeks now on vacation! It was a wonderful and relaxing time with my family at the lake! The sun did us all some good, and being away from the TV, phone, and people for 2 weeks was heaven!

I am wondering today as I write this if anyone ever views my blog????? Am I just writing this for myself???? I wish that someone would leave a comment and just tell me they have been here. I have such a desire to relate and maybe help someone in my position!

The last two weeks have been up and down for us. My son doesnt handle stress well at all, and is so hyper-sensitive at this moment - you can never tell what will set off a bad or sad mood. With school starting this week its been worse. He is into his therapy but isnt always talking to the therapist. I questioned him about medication for depression, but he informed me that he was cautious about putting him on anything because he suspects that he has bi-polar disorder too. It's sad news to hear, breaks my heart to know that I have probably passed this trait to him. Since he suspects this disorder in him I have to be even more cautious of medication and side effects can show in children when they possible wouldnt show in an adult.

BUT on the other hand, I'm glad that I've been through this myself so that I can know how to deal with my own child, and since I can recognize this problem, hopefully I've caught it early enough that he will recieve the help I never had. My prayers are that his life will be easier than mine was.

Being resentful of the fact that my parents ignored my problems has been a hard thing for me to forgive. I've made many bad choices, errs in judgement and I've had to overcome my problems all alone. Something that I have held on too all these years and never given thought to forgive my parents for that. I should try I guess to completly heal.

I've begun a new medication regimine. I'm taking lamictal, and seroquel. I havent felt MUCH difference, but I have noticed some things that are positive. I'm sleeping at night thanks to the seroquel, and my own depression has lifted somewhat. I've also noticed that I'm not obssessing about what other people think about me or things said to me that hurt my feelings. I used to never care what anyone thought....but as I've gotten older, I seem to think about things that bother me, and let people control my happiness. I'm slowly taking that control back! And I'm proud of myself for doing so! Small steps will still get me where I'm going! Just take a little more time!

Its hard to get a child to understand that. To realize that these feelings of depression, cant do anything right, etc., will go away in time and things will get better for them! Something I've been working with every day.

I've found some interesting things to help him though! One thing is that research shows that when you look with your eyes up and to the left it triggers your right brain to recall pleasant memories, such as your childs first steps, your wedding day, the day your child was born, etc. Researchers have shown that the brain takes in all the pleasant visual things around you and stores them for recall at a later time, and that triggering your right brain to release those memories will ease stress. Monday, the first day of school, my child had a major meltdown, so I tried this exercise on him. And lo and behold it actually worked! He stopped crying immediately and relaxed somewhat. He tried this during the day when he was feeling insecure and unhappy and he said that after a few hours he began to feel more confident and felt better. The rest of the day went okay for him!!!

I havent tried this myself much, I did a few times at night but fell asleep because of my meds so I dont know, but this is something I'm going to remember to try when I feel down myself. Try this out and give me some feed back and let me know if you have noticed any change!